It’s an understatement to say that fatherhood is challenging. So what parts of us does it challenge? And how might we support those parts?
Joining me for this conversation is Peter Mortifee. He has been engaging with his cast of inner characters as a personal practice for over 20 years.
Note to listeners:
The evening after I recorded this, during dinner with my in-laws, my daughter was really upset. Mainly, that I had not asked her permission to mix the mac and cheese with the chili for dinner. And while this was so utterly ridiculous to me, as a result of this conversation with Peter, in the face of this struggle of hers, my willingness and ability to be compassionate led the way.
I was able to not shame her or give into judging “her” as ridiculous. I was able to empathize with her experience and find compromise. I took time to separate these two food groups without feeling imposed upon. It was instead, an act of love.
And while the situation was not resolved immediately in terms of her emotional regulation, by the end of dinner my daughter had calmed down. She was able to even eat some of the food that had been mixed together without her permission ; )
My proudest moment for her was after she told her grandma that she hated her for taking the pillow away from her chair, she was able to walk up to Grandma later and say, “I'm sorry I said that I hated you.” And to receive the response when Grandma said, “I forgive you.”
These little voices within myself that are very much like little children,.. they all matter.
Enjoy this conversation with Peter.
Guest Bio:
Since 2001, Peter has chaired the Somerset Foundation, which has supported over 100 social initiatives, focused on advancing wellbeing. His expertise spans governance, strategy, and financial sustainability.
Additionally, he co-founded and chairs the Chute Creek Stewardship Society, an organization committed to a community’s flood protection and salmon habitat restoration.
Engaging globally, he is a member of the Ashoka Support Network, an advisor to The Wellbeing Project’s Stewardship Council and a Global Ambassador for Outward Bound International.
In 2008, he relinquished his Clinical Assistant Professorship with the Department of Medicine at University of British Columbia. and retired completely from his medical practice in order to explore new ways of engaging.
Based in Vancouver with his wife Nancy, they cherish time with their family and grandchildren.
Through engaging in social change initiatives and photographic reflections, his desire is to contribute to the co-creation of a world of personal and collective wellbeing.
Key Points from the conversation:
Fatherhood can be destructive or generative.
Fatherhood brings out our cast of characters and our best and worst.
Being in relation to those characters is essential to being the kind of father that is more generative than destructive.
Fatherhood & our Cast of Internal Characters