I really enjoyed listening in on your conversation!
I studied Nonviolent Communication pretty seriously a number of years ago (attending multiple workshops and study groups) but never felt like the framework as a whole would be workable, because it depended too much on both parties following the same structure of communication. That said, the request/demand distinction did stick with me, and I like how you talked about focusing on that one piece without needing the rest of the NVC structure.
By the way, I have also used the appreciations exercise in a business setting and it worked great. :) Once I was facilitating a retrospective meeting, helping a team to look back at a project where there were a lot of negative feelings. At the end of the meeting I invited everyone to stand in a circle, and one guy cracked a joke about singing Kumbaya, but once they got going with appreciations the mood of the group shifted, and people were able to leave the meeting on a more positive note.
Thank you so much for this comment. I agree that there are quite a few challenges implementing NVC in "the wild." I actually haven't taught my kids the full structure, though they teach a version of it in schools now with I- statements. But I've found that knowing the structure and being able to see conflicts within the framework (met and unmet needs) provides a solid lens and constructive starting point for me to go about addressing the issues, even if I'm doing that work on my own, internally!
That is such a fantastic idea about using appreciations in a work setting. Well done on carrying on despite some cynicism. There's always one, right?😅
Appreciations feels much harder to have stick at home then at work (for me). I tend to take things personally -- so making space for appreciations as a practice is harder when I feel "hurt" or "unseen" and therefore even more important.
AND, with appreciations in place, the experiment of requests feels possible.
Just shared with all the parents in my 5th grade class. Real, honest, practical and from the heart!
Gah love that you shared this with families! I’m going to put it up on our school social media, too!
I really enjoyed listening in on your conversation!
I studied Nonviolent Communication pretty seriously a number of years ago (attending multiple workshops and study groups) but never felt like the framework as a whole would be workable, because it depended too much on both parties following the same structure of communication. That said, the request/demand distinction did stick with me, and I like how you talked about focusing on that one piece without needing the rest of the NVC structure.
By the way, I have also used the appreciations exercise in a business setting and it worked great. :) Once I was facilitating a retrospective meeting, helping a team to look back at a project where there were a lot of negative feelings. At the end of the meeting I invited everyone to stand in a circle, and one guy cracked a joke about singing Kumbaya, but once they got going with appreciations the mood of the group shifted, and people were able to leave the meeting on a more positive note.
Thank you so much for this comment. I agree that there are quite a few challenges implementing NVC in "the wild." I actually haven't taught my kids the full structure, though they teach a version of it in schools now with I- statements. But I've found that knowing the structure and being able to see conflicts within the framework (met and unmet needs) provides a solid lens and constructive starting point for me to go about addressing the issues, even if I'm doing that work on my own, internally!
That is such a fantastic idea about using appreciations in a work setting. Well done on carrying on despite some cynicism. There's always one, right?😅
I like that "in the wild" : )
Appreciations feels much harder to have stick at home then at work (for me). I tend to take things personally -- so making space for appreciations as a practice is harder when I feel "hurt" or "unseen" and therefore even more important.
AND, with appreciations in place, the experiment of requests feels possible.