Love how you're working with your community to identify and speak to the felt needs of dads today! For me it has involved letting my kids remind me of how I started out in the world and the awareness that the more childlike version of me is still in here somewhere. It's me before I got worried that I might not belong if I'm just me.
What a sweet perspective, Kelly. I find myself in a time machine when I witness my kids as well -- right back to when I was around their age. A mentor once pointed out to me that my child-self has been around longer than my adult self -- blew my mind ; )
Right on. And your use of "time machine" is wild. I use that very phrase in reference to these ideas in a post coming out this Wednesday. Definitely some resonance in the way we see things!
For me, it’s two things. The first is understanding and communicating my boundaries to the people around me. That also includes being patient with those whose boundaries don’t align with yours (and they never do). My wife and I have been practicing this conversation as new parents. We often go back on a boundary (or reinterpret a boundary) we set just the day before. We just have to be sympathetic to the fact that, although none of us are fully clear on the boundaries and even communication styles we need in order to feel like our authentic selves, we have to respect that those things exist and have to be honored.
The second is showing my new daughter exactly who I am. I play music for her that I love. We read books I grew up with. I buy toys for her that I think would be fun for me to play with her. It’s also been my secret hack to be the babysitter parent more often and longer so my wife can take a break. “Honey, you relax. I got Claire for the next hour. We’re going to the record store!”
Love this, Will. I relate to how boundaries are a huge part of my authentic self as a father/husband (and for me, long ago, I avoided setting boundaries for fear of conflict). I applaud you and your wife for making this an ongoing practice.
Also love the healthy selfishness of toys for your daughter that are fun for you too -- I've often gotten on the floor with my kiddos and recall one time spending over an hour making a car ramp and launching cars down the couch and over a jump 🚗 that kind of playfulness is a huge value for me that connects me to my authentic self as a dad.
Love how you're working with your community to identify and speak to the felt needs of dads today! For me it has involved letting my kids remind me of how I started out in the world and the awareness that the more childlike version of me is still in here somewhere. It's me before I got worried that I might not belong if I'm just me.
What a sweet perspective, Kelly. I find myself in a time machine when I witness my kids as well -- right back to when I was around their age. A mentor once pointed out to me that my child-self has been around longer than my adult self -- blew my mind ; )
Right on. And your use of "time machine" is wild. I use that very phrase in reference to these ideas in a post coming out this Wednesday. Definitely some resonance in the way we see things!
Ooh, I love that synchronicity, Kelly ✨
Fellow dads (and dad allies): what does “being my authentic self” mean to you?
For me, it’s two things. The first is understanding and communicating my boundaries to the people around me. That also includes being patient with those whose boundaries don’t align with yours (and they never do). My wife and I have been practicing this conversation as new parents. We often go back on a boundary (or reinterpret a boundary) we set just the day before. We just have to be sympathetic to the fact that, although none of us are fully clear on the boundaries and even communication styles we need in order to feel like our authentic selves, we have to respect that those things exist and have to be honored.
The second is showing my new daughter exactly who I am. I play music for her that I love. We read books I grew up with. I buy toys for her that I think would be fun for me to play with her. It’s also been my secret hack to be the babysitter parent more often and longer so my wife can take a break. “Honey, you relax. I got Claire for the next hour. We’re going to the record store!”
Love this, Will. I relate to how boundaries are a huge part of my authentic self as a father/husband (and for me, long ago, I avoided setting boundaries for fear of conflict). I applaud you and your wife for making this an ongoing practice.
Also love the healthy selfishness of toys for your daughter that are fun for you too -- I've often gotten on the floor with my kiddos and recall one time spending over an hour making a car ramp and launching cars down the couch and over a jump 🚗 that kind of playfulness is a huge value for me that connects me to my authentic self as a dad.